Parenting Kids With Learning Disabilities

Moms & dads are often worried when their child has learning problems in school. There are many reasons for school failure, but a common one is a specific learning disability. Kids with learning disabilities usually have a normal range of intelligence. They try very hard to follow instructions, concentrate, and "be good" at home and in school. Yet, despite this effort, he or she is not mastering school tasks and falls behind. Learning disabilities affect at least 1 in 10 school kids.

It is believed that learning disabilities are caused by a difficulty with the nervous system that affects receiving, processing, or communicating information. They may also run in families. Some kids with learning disabilities are also hyperactive; unable to sit still, easily distracted, and have a short attention span.

Child and adolescent psychiatrists point out that learning disabilities are treatable. If not detected and treated early, however, they can have a tragic "snowballing" effect. For instance, a child who does not learn addition in elementary school cannot understand algebra in high school. The child, trying very hard to learn, becomes more and more frustrated, and develops emotional problems such as low self-esteem in the face of repeated failure. Some learning disabled kids misbehave in school because they would rather be seen as "bad" than "stupid."

Moms & dads should be aware of the most frequent signals of learning disabilities, when a youngster:

· Cannot understand the concept of time; is confused by "yesterday, today, tomorrow"

· Easily loses or misplaces homework, schoolbooks, or other items

· Fails to master reading, spelling, writing, and/or math skills, and thus fails

· Has difficulty distinguishing right from left; difficulty identifying words or a tendency to reverse letters, words, or numbers; (for example, confusing 25 with 52, "b" with "d," or "on" with "no")

· Has difficulty understanding and following instructions

· Has trouble remembering what someone just told him or her

· Lacks coordination in walking, sports, or small activities such as holding a pencil or tying a shoelace

Such problems deserve a comprehensive evaluation by an expert who can assess all of the different issues affecting the child. A child and adolescent psychiatrist can help coordinate the evaluation, and work with school professionals and others to have the evaluation and educational testing done to clarify if a learning disability exists. This includes talking with the child and family, evaluating their situation, reviewing the educational testing, and consulting with the school. The child and adolescent psychiatrist will then make recommendations on appropriate school placement, the need for special help such as special educational services or speech-language therapy and help moms & dads assist their child in maximizing his or her learning potential. Sometimes individual or family psychotherapy will be recommended. Medication may be prescribed for hyperactivity or distractibility. It is important to strengthen the child's self-confidence, so vital for healthy development, and also help moms & dads and other family members better understand and cope with the realities of living with a child with learning disabilities.

Determining whether your youngster has a learning disability is a complicated process. After going through all of the assessments and evaluations you may feel overwhelmed if a learning disability is identified. It’s not uncommon to feel relieved that you now have a word for what you’ve known all along. On top of dealing with the emotional issues that are coming up, you have to figure out what you’re going to do about it, and what your options are. The first thing to do is to take a deep breath.

This overview will provide you with important information about the resources at your disposal to help you through this. As you will see, the public school system has a legal responsibility to provide your youngster with free services. This guide for moms & dads and caretakers includes tips for coping during this stressful time and suggestions on how to work with teachers and school administrators in securing the best education for your youngster.

Many gifted and talented kids (and adults) sadly have been misdiagnosed by mental health professionals and other health care providers as having a disorder that they really don’t have. This occurs because there are many characteristics of gifted kids, both social and emotional, that are mistaken to be a symptom of different disorders.

Moms & dads often lack information about characteristics of gifted kids, and as a result the relationship between parent and youngster can suffer. These kids can be both exhilarating and exhausting. Their behaviors can appear extreme, they are impatient, argumentative, and have temper tantrums. It is common for them to engage in sibling rivalry, power struggles within the family or with authority figures, or disengaging by withdrawing or underachieving. The youngster’s behaviors can be seen as mischievous, impertinent, weird or strong willed. The youngster is often criticized or punished for behaviors that really represent curiosity, intensity, sensitivity, or the lag of judgment behind intellect. They are easily bored while waiting for the other kids in the classroom to keep up with them and as a result can become disruptive because of their frustration and impatience.

The difference between the highest and lowest scores on individual subscales within intelligence and achievement tests is often quite notable in gifted kids. When the youngster is tested using the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children - III, it is not uncommon to find subscale differences greater than seven scale score points for gifted kids, particularly those who are highly gifted. Most psychologists interpret these score discrepancies to indicate a learning disability, and in a functional sense they do represent that but most gifted kids show a scatter of abilities ranging from Very Superior to Average level of functioning depending upon the area tested.

In kids with a full-scale IQ score of 140 or greater, it is not uncommon to find a difference of 20 or more points between Verbal IQ and Performance IQ. Most psychologists think that such a discrepancy is a serious cause for concern and is an indication of a serious brain dysfunction or learning disability. However, for the highly gifted individual, such a discrepancy is far less likely to be an indication of a pathological brain dysfunction, although it would suggest that the youngster has an unusual learning style and they may have a learning disability.

Without intervention, self-esteem issues are almost certain in the life of a youngster who is both gifted and has a learning disability. You can help your youngster have a more appropriate sense of themselves by reassuring them that there are specific reasons for their behaviors and sharing with them what the realities are of their particular and unique abilities.

Tips for how kids with learning disabilities can succeed at school—

· Special education - instruction taught by specially trained personnel in smaller classes which focuses on working on specific skills

· Self-advocacy skills - empowering students to ask for what they need in order to learn in the most effective way. Motivate the youngster to ask questions if they don’t understand the instructions

· Compensatory strategies - ways to use their cognitive strengths to offset weaknesses. If they have poor auditory memory but strong visual memory, have them draw or write down the instructions

· Accommodations - these can be as simple as being seated in the front row, having extra time on tests, or can involve electronic equipment and auxiliary personnel

When you work with your youngster at home on academic and life skills, you help them recognize their own strengths and increase their self-esteem. Examples of activities you can implement at home fall into several categories – accommodations, organization, critical thinking, and emotional support.

Ways to cope—

· Accommodate for the youngster’s primary learning style by allowing them to pace around, listen to background music, attach visual displays to the walls, or wear earplugs or headphones if distracted by noise

· Know your youngster’s primary learning style and adjust accordingly

· Provide a computer for written assignments if the youngster has difficulty writing

· Take frequent breaks when doing homework

Organization—

· Give your youngster a task that requires organization: grocery shopping required for a recipe, planning a birthday party on a budget, using a map to figure out the route from one place to another

· Model and teach them how to make “to do” lists and prioritize their homework

· Set aside a regular time each week for organizing workspace, belongings, schoolwork, and activities; make a game of it or provide a reward

Critical thinking—

· Encourage all sorts of age-appropriate reading and writing
· Play games of strategy
· Talk about current events and ideas with multiple points of view

Emotional support—

· Encourage activities that your youngster enjoys and excels in

· Engage them in social problem-solving: how to resolve conflicts with friends, teachers, and kids who may be bothering them at school

· Keep open lines of communication so your youngster feels comfortable discussing feelings with you

· Let your kids know that you enjoy their company by playing and talking with them. It’s important not to ignore other kids in the family. Many activities geared for learning disabled kids can include and benefit kids without disabilities as well

· Praise your youngster for the positive qualities they exhibit during the whole process of doing homework not just when they finish their homework

· Regulate your stress and help your kids learn to regulate theirs

The role of schools in accommodating learning disabilities—

If you know your rights and are informed, you have a better chance of getting the services you are entitled to under the law. Your youngster may be eligible for many kinds of accommodations and support services, but the school might not provide them unless you ask for them. You can request that the school district pay for tutors and other service personnel, you can teach your youngster at home, or even request tuition for a private school (nonpublic school) that specializes in teaching kids with learning disabilities. Understanding your rights under certain laws, which protect the learning disabled can help you be a better advocate for your youngster.

Federal law on disabilities: access and accommodation—

Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and its successor, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), are civil rights laws that prohibit barriers to people with disabilities in a number of institutions, including public schools, which receive federal funding. They define “disability” as a “substantial” and “pervasive” physical or mental impairment that affects one or more basic life activities, including learning.

The ADA and Section 504 are limited: they keep schools from denying education to kids with learning disabilities and require “reasonable accommodations … for eligible students with a disability to perform essential functions,” such as extra test time or large-print books. However, they don’t mandate specialized education for kids with disabilities and therefore can’t guarantee that the schools will have the environment needed to maximize your youngster’s learning potential.

Special education law—

Because Section 504 clearly didn’t provide for the educational needs of disabled students, in 1975 Congress passed Public Law 94-142, which was revised as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) in 1997, and updated in 2004. Also there is a commentary to the regulations published in 2006. This is the federal law that mandates “a free, appropriate public education” in the least restrictive environment, for kids who meet the law’s criteria for disability that impedes educational performance. Services provided by IDEA include special education facilitated by specially trained teachers and even interventions provided by companies outside the public-school system, such as nonpublic agencies that provide behavior intervention services. If it is written into the youngster’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), the youngster can work with a behavioral intervention therapist one on one in the classroom.

IDEA calls for a more rigorous evaluation process and much more paperwork than the ADA does, along with regular reevaluation and the direct participation of moms & dads. Having a youngster identified with a learning disability warrants classroom accommodation, specialized teaching and related services.

Understanding Individualized Education Programs—

While some accommodations cost nothing and are easy to carry out in the classroom, many interventions that help learning-disabled students require that they have a formal diagnosis. Such identification can give these students access to special education, equipment, and support personnel that they would not be entitled to otherwise. So once your youngster has been diagnosed with one or more learning disabilities, it’s in your youngster’s best interest for you to pursue a formal identification through the IEP process.

IDEA is the Federal government’s special education law. Prior to receiving special education services in the public school system, a youngster must have an IEP. The IEP enables teachers, moms & dads, school administrators, related services personnel, and students (when appropriate) to collaborate and design a customized educational program for the student’s unique needs to help them participate in the general curriculum and make continued progress. The IEP is the blueprint, which guides the delivery of special education services for the student with a disability.

Communicating with your youngster’s school—

Being a vocal advocate for your youngster can be challenging. You’ll need superior communication and negotiation skills, and the confidence to defend your youngster’s right to a proper education. If you need help, one option is to hire a parent advocate who can speak on your behalf.

Following are a number of helpful tips that can help you communicate clearly and effectively with your youngster’s school:

1. Be a good listener. Allow the school officials to explain their opinions and desires. If you don’t understand what someone is saying, ask for clarification. Statements such as “What I hear you saying is…” can help ensure that both parties are communicating well. Also, make sure your own points are being clearly understood. If you don’t think they are, ask them to reflect back to you what you just said.

2. Clarify your goals. Before entering into a meeting with school personnel, write down what you want to accomplish. Decide what is most important, and what you are willing to negotiate on. Take the list with you and don’t be afraid to consult your notes – this can help keep your mind on track and reduce feelings of distraction or intimidation.

3. Don’t give up easily. If you are unsatisfied with the school administration’s response to your requests, ask them to reiterate why they can’t come to a compromise. Let them know you understand their position, but that you believe there is a better way to help your youngster.

4. Keep the focus. The school system is dealing with a large number of kids, you are only concerned with your youngster. Help the meeting stay focused on your youngster and their individual needs. Mention your youngster’s name frequently, don’t drift into generalizations, and resist the urge to fight larger battles.

5. Offer an alternative. You have the advantage of not being a “part of the system.” Therefore, you may have solutions or ideas that no one has thought of. Perform your own research, find examples of what other schools have done to help the learning disabled, and bring this research to your meeting. At the very least, it will provoke some healthy brainstorming.

6. Stay calm, collected and positive. Go into your meeting assuming that everyone is on your side. It doesn’t help anyone to start out in a negative state of mind. However, emotions may get the best of you because you are fighting for your youngster’s education. If your temper flares up or you say something you regret, don’t let it ruin the entire meeting. Simply apologize and get back on track.

Adjusting to a newly diagnosed learning disability—

One of the trickiest aspects of adjusting to a newly diagnosed learning disability is how it affects other members of the family. Extended family and friends may not understand the disability and mistakenly think your youngster’s behavior is stemming from laziness, being spoiled or hyperactive. Siblings of a youngster with a learning disability may feel that their brother or sister is getting more attention then they are. Dealing with your other kids at this time can be particularly challenging. No matter how much your kids understand on an intellectual level, they can easily feel jealous or neglected when moms & dads are so focused on the sibling with special needs. Moms & dads can help curb these feelings by reassuring all of their kids that they are loved, and by including siblings in any special routines established for the youngster with a learning disability.

Some moms & dads attempt to keep their youngster’s learning disability a secret. Unfortunately, even with the most heartfelt intentions, this secrecy can come off looking like shame or guilt to others, including the youngster who has the learning disability, which can be detrimental to their self-esteem. Many people actually find that sharing the details of a learning disability diagnosis with those closest to them can help fuel positive feelings of support and reduce isolation. Once friends and relatives are aware of what’s going on, they are far less likely to say harmful things to you or your youngster regarding their behavior or progress.

Keep in mind that some people may need time to fully grasp the meaning of a learning disability. Certain members of your family may be more resistant to the idea at first and need a bit more time to adjust. If problems within the family do crop up, you may be able to turn to people outside the family for help. Parent support groups, in which you can talk with other moms & dads who have the same kinds of problems, can make you feel less isolated and offer encouragement, information, and advice. Family counseling, psychotherapy for the family as a group, allows everyone in the family to air their feelings and to seek solutions that address everyone’s needs.

Becoming a more involved parent—

Moms & dads of kids with learning disabilities must be especially involved with the educational process, both at school and at home to ensure optimal progress is made. There are ways to strengthen alternate skills to compensate for cognitive challenges. There are things that can be done to retrain parts of the brain to take over for the affected areas of the brain, a term called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity describes the brain’s dynamic capacity to change and reorganize neural pathways after new experiences and learning occurs.



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